i have been thinking these days.about my past.about what the future holds for me.sometimes life is just so confusing and and full of hidden stuff.a rollercoaster.
yesterday we had a arc meeting in aphileon room.pretty much of a morale booster and prep talk.den junhong said something which i had always felt.he said that obstacles makes a person stronger.a shooting journey without obstacles is not going to last.
obstacles.for good and for bad.
my shooting journey was cetainly full of obstacles.i think i dare say im the person in the club who has faced most obstacles.haha.yes there were stories about other seniors faced with overwhelming odds.and who had overcomed them.i respect them and admire them.gabriel.junhong at seagames.melvin tan and his record,
mine was interesting and bittersweet at the same time.bitter when i was faced with a problem, and no one had faith in me.no one believed.i only had myself.then there were times when i overcame them, tasted victory in a way.the feeling was great.but im sure, there are much more of such victories out there.victories that i can achive.larger and greater victories.i will work hard to attain them.
abt my journey. i wanted to join arc when i was in sec one.so hard that i came for trails everyday.i shot like shit la but i came everyday.finished trails i lined up again to shoot again.so that i oculd have a better chance.in fact the ppl there started to noe me.haha
jeremy was one of them.out of kindness and perhaps on account of my enthusiam, he made me a member if the club.even though i wasnt among the selected ones.in a way, he was making a gamble.if i turned out to be a slacker, it would not only disappoiont him, but would also reflect, in a negative way, on his decision.i coulnt do that in a way i guess.i think too much was on me.ppl looking.expectations.i was very grateful for that.i wasnt ranked high up, but he still made me a member.it certainly took believe.and perhaps a leap of faith.
i still remember when i was in sec one i was one of the lousiest shooters.i practically had no strength to cock the gun.and i was damn huang.ppl laughed at me and all.but i worked my way slowly.i came for trainings in school with yida and uncle tan.i learned bits and peices of things here and there, some from basic training, and others frm my seniors.yida and all.because i attended more trainings and asked more,i learned more.in a way, that was one of the forces tt helped me improve.
later, there was the gun issue.i had no gun, had to shuttle frm guns to guns, not being able to tiao.
just another obstacle.
den there was year2.i was trying to fight for a place in school team.in fact i was looking at reserve place.den i was told i would not be subsidised for a korean jacket and german boots.those who were subsidised included bx, kelvin, jiehao and jianghao.no me.i was very sad then.
but it was just another obstacle.
i fought hard for my jacket.calls and appeals and convincing.but practically no one believed me.no one felt that i shld get it.not the seniors, the teachers in charges.it took a lot of convincing, and much more hardwork to show them.still, due to a limitted budget, i was not given a subsidy.then coach came into the picture.i spoke to her about it and she felt otherwise.she called up the tics, and assured them of me.she assured them tt i would work hard, and that the subsidy would not go to waste.she assured them of my quality, and that it was worth it.in a way, she was garunteeing my results.
this time, once again, i cleared the obstacles through trust, believe and faith of ppl around me.coach's trust of my character.her believe and faith in me.once again, if i had turned out to be a joker in the end it would disappoint many.coach, tics ect.once again, it would reflect badly on her decision.on her ability to judge people.again, i knew i could not screw up, for much rested on me.ppl waited.and watched.to see if the beleive and trust in me was worth it.or had they justed wasted time on a fool.perhaps the subdidy was given to me just to shut me up.just to keep me from bugging them.perhaps it was because they realli believed.but whatever it was, i was grateful to coach for that faith in me.back then she didnt knew me very well, but she knew i was hardworking.but it still took lots of faith.
it was a leap of faith.yet again.
so it was decided that i would get it instead of jiehao.but he felt otherwise and in the end an extra set was order.in all, bx, kelvin, jianghao, jiehao and i got it.but 4 would make it to the team.
i was trying to be a reserve.working my way up, i continued to train.i participated in various competitions like the NUS invitational shoot and from there i gained experience.and i improved.my score rose and soon i begain to gain on the others.i came beat jianghao and jiehao and came close to boxuan.i had cleared my obstacle and was working up into a sprint.in a way, i had tasted victory.and it was sweet.
i had not disappionted the ppl around me.coach, tic, and all.i could rmb the time when i finished an competition and coach looked very glad.she brought up the subsidy issue once again and again, i knew i hadnt disappointed those who had believed in me.though the tics did not say anything, i think they feel the same too.but im glad that they would not regret their decision.
nationals.i entered the nationals with a great feeling.call it an aura.i felt that i had worked hard to come thus far, so i would not let it go to waste.i felt that i had overcame so much odds in the past, and i would be able to overcome the nationals.that i could overcome the odds and do well.
den i actualli became the 2nd shooter, with jianghao as reserve.in the prelims i shoot individual first, and missed the best RI shooter by 3 marks.in the finals i shot 568, though i came in individual 5th (kelvin was 569), i felt that i had not screwed up.i had done pretty well.it was my personal best.but nonetheless, i was very sad because we lost.
den there was SSF.wanting to catch up with RI, i screwed up.ran out of time.it was one of the most devastating defeat in my life. immediately after i put dwn the gun, i just sad dwn and cried.i didnt even have to think.the tears just came.shall talk more abt this next time.
in the end i shot 54plus.missed out on 3 shots.
but it was a learning experience.a extremely valuable one.one that i paid dearly for.but then again, you pay for what you get.
once again, it was yet another obstacle.
i learned to shoot quickly and and manage my time and mental condition.i learned much frm the shooting journey.much more than i think i can do so frm anywhere else.i learned how to handle problems, defeat, and most importantly, i learned to overcome obstacles.and that they make me stronger.
now, looking back on my journey in 04/03, at the obstacles, pain, tears, victory, defeats and joy.and of course the people.the people who had faith.the people who had heart.the people who made it happen.i owe my all to them.my coach espciallyu.for all that she has done for me.of course, it can be said that i had worked hard myself, but it all wouldnt happen of not for them.sometimes hardwork can go unnoticed, and it realli takes ppl around you, ppl who believe, to make it happen.it realli took a great deal of believe and faith on their part.now, to me, it all looked like a a beautiful plot in piece. a story. a silver lining.
obstacles make you stonger.now looking back, looking at all i have gone through, though it may not be much, i feel like a stronger person.i have gone through these, and come out alive.surely i can make my way to my dreams.
to the time of my life.
